May
7
D’oh! A deer!
May 7, 2008 |
So I was running this morning on my usual path - over by the canal path by the river. I was on the go-home stretch, Metallica ringing in my ear, when over to my left - the canal side - I saw what I thought was a splash. Well that was too big for any of the fish that swim in the sewer, errr, canal. And sure enough I saw something floating along. A duck or goose, perhaps?
Moments later, another splash. I was getting closer - maybe 1000 feet away - and it looked bigger. Pirates?
I saw the first creature emerge from the water, and for a split second I thought it was a goose, but clearly I was wrong. A beautiful deer was suddenly on the path in front of me, followed a few seconds later by another.
My first thought: cool. My second: oh shit.
Now deer don’t tend to take to kindly to us humans, and I wasn’t necessarily anticipating becoming a headline: “Local Man Eaten by Insane Carniverous Deer.” But I was a tad worried. What if these two knew that my dad was a hunter? What if these were the children of some buck my dad shot 20 years ago and dragged through New York City on the hood of his car? What if they were out for revenge? Look, I’m Italian, I can’t help but think this way.
As I got to about 500 feet or so from the deer, they bounded off. No doubt by now they have swam accross the Potomac and are terrorizing some family in Alexandria.
And as I jogged past the point where they had been, I just couldn’t help but think, “Venison steak would be real good right now.” Hey, I need protein after these runs, you know.
By the way, though it is surely coincidental, that particular happened to be the fastest mile I have ever run in my life (8 minutes, 12 seconds).
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On a side note, do you think James Hetfield pronounces all -ar ending words in -o? I was listening to Metallica’s “Whiskey in the Jar,” and that thought came to me? Look, weird crap comes into my head after 5 miles of running, especially when killer deer cross my tracks. Anyway, do you think he tells his buddies he’s driving to the bar-o (okay, maybe not after rehab) in his car-o? And how does he pronounce Sbarro? Is it Sbarro-o? Have I taken this joke too far-o? Yeah, maybe it is a bit bizarre-o.