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What I learned from Die Hard
September 9, 2008 | 1 Comment
This past Saturday I had the privelege of watching the latest installment in the Die Hard series: Live Free or Die Hard. It was an entertaining movie, but it’s most important contribution to pop culture was its educative value. Here are some of the things I learned watching this movie.
- Our nation has three electricty “sectors” (east, west, and central), and each sector contains a single unit that controls the entire sector.
- All of the natural gas pipelines in the United States are connected to a solitary source.
- It takes seemingly no time to get from DC to West Virginia (in a state of national panic, no less), and to get from West Virginia to Baltimore, but it takes eons to get by helicopter from DC to eastern Maryland.
- Asian chicks are so tough that they can survive not only being run over by an SUV going at full speed, but also the SUV ramming through walls while they are on the hood of the SUV. And not only are they capable of survival, they will proceed to show no ill effects and will kick any man’s ass that is nearby.
- If you’re in a big rig and chasing down another vehicle, but are sidetracked in your pursuit by a fighter jet (that, by the way, has amazing maneuvering capabilities in a downtown, urban setting) that destroys most of the highway you’re driving on, and if you find yourself on the hood of said firejet before it crashes into the ground: no worries. You will simply jump off the aircraft and conveniently find yourself at the exact location of the people you are chasing.
- John McLane is one tough bastard. In a roughly 30 hour period he is shot, kicked and punched repeatedly, suffers numerous severe falls, and did I mention he was shot? By himself. Through the shoulder. He also never seems to sleep or eat. Yet at the end of all of this he shows visibly few ill effects, and manages to throw off a few more whitty quips his partner’s way at the end of the movie. All in a day’s work I suppose.
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