Nov
30
Stay classy, Yankees fans
November 30, 2009 | 2 Comments
After witnessing their team buying winning their 27th world championships, one would think that Yankee fans would be fairly mellow and content, but then you wouldn’t know Yankee fans.
I’ve never fully understood what drives people to root for the Mets over the Yankees — I mean, I get that Walter O’Malley ripped a huge hole in the heart of Brooklyn by moving the Dodgers out west, and, while you never really hear as much about it, I imagine there were a few folks who were sad that the Giants left town as well.
While it can be tough rooting for the Mets, considering that we just have such a lovably inept front office, we Mets fans take solace in the fact that our franchise has thing called a soul. While it might be fun to root for the guy with the loaded dice, we prefer to keep things interesting by not rooting for Satan’s minions.
I also get that the good people of Long Island need a baseball team to identify with — I suppose if I were from the largest island in the United States and only had one major artery with which to get to anywhere that was clogged 24 hours a day, I’d be inclined to root for the Metropolitans too.
I’m wondering if the guy writing this has actually ever been to New York, let alone lived there. There are in fact three major arteries that get to CitiField, while only one – completely crummy, and often traffic-filled – highway runs by Yankee Stadium. And while I’m not above mocking the poor schlubs who live on Long Island and commute into the city every day, has this guy ever driven in the shithole called the Bronx? The Cross-Bronx Expressway is not only a narrow, pothole-lined route from hell, the exits make absolutely no sense. To get from one highway to the other in the Bronx you have to exit, somehow manage to finagle your way over four lanes of traffic, then turn right onto the next. Not only is this idiotic, but it leaves you exposed in the South Bronx. And no sane person actually wants to be left out in the South Bronx.
But I digress. I also realize that wanting to add a third team while making fun of the already-existing second team seems contradictory, but I just have trouble taking the Mets seriously.
C’est la vie. Of course, considering that you, like most of your fellow “die hard” Yankee fan douchenozzles all probably had Doctor K posters back when you were little kiddies, I have trouble taking you seriously. The again, maybe you were one of the 10 percent or so of New Yorkers that actually called themselves Yankee fans back in the 1980s, but I believe that as much as I believe that you don’t dream about Alex Rodriguez riding into your bedroom as a centaur and rubbing his roided up body all over you.
If your family were former Brooklyn Dodger or New York Giant fans, then fine, love the Mets. But if you have no particular allegiance one way or another, and you still end up going with the Mets over the Yankees (although it seems not many people do this, given the sheer preponderance of Yankee hats over Met hats you see walking around the City on a daily basis. Shoot, I see more Red Sox hats in New York City than Mets hats on any given day — that’s just sad) you probably have some self-esteem/loathing issues to take care of.
So, this guy basically has a problem with anyone continuing to root for a team even though it hasn’t been overly successful in recent years (though, in point of fact, despite the heartaches, the Mets have been pretty good in the immediate past). I think this says more about the mentality of Yankee fans than Met fans. What it tells me is that Yankee fans are too insecure to root for a team unless they can be absolutely sure that their team will be good. Evidently little things like living and dying with a team, suffering through heartache and depression while your team lets you down year after year, while then occasionally experiencing the joy of having them come through with an amazing season or two, is too much for this poor Yankee fan to bear. I guess when your life is a complete mess and your Iroc-Z has reached its last legs, it’s just too much trouble to bother rooting for a team that might lose every now and then. So the only thing to do is root for a sure thing. Because we wouldn’t to add any other bit of misery to your life on top of having to drive down the Major Deegan at rush hour to get to a ballpark that is a pale imitation of a great baseball cathedral that used to stand near that spot.
Don’t worry Larry, I’m sure the Yankees will buy Roy Halladay and cheer you up by winning another Series. In the meantime, have fun dreaming of dreamy centaurs. Maybe next time he’ll bring a friend named Derek.
Comments
2 Comments so far
I guffawed at the several centaur references.
Met you in the bullpen. Wink.